Flexible Styles of Influencing - Part 2

We previously spoke about the least and most directive styles of influence: Saying Nothing and Giving Instruction. As stated before, neither one style is better than the other, and the best leaders use a combination of all styles depending on the situation or person. Being able to adapt your approach by understanding how each of these styles is useful is integral to productive communication in the workplace.

‍

Today we will be looking at the second most and least directive styles of influence: Giving Advice and Asking a Question.

‍

Giving Advice:

When you give someone advice, you are letting them know what you think they should do, while accepting the fact that they may not actually follow through with it. Something important to remember is that effective coaching leans away from telling people what they "should" do and instead helping them solve an issue themselves. However, there may be moments when giving advice is relevant, useful, and supportive. Similar to giving instruction, there can be levels of 'directiveness' with your advice. Offering less pointed advice gives the person the opportunity to reject it which puts them in a situation where they can actively decide what is best for them. See below some examples of advice with different levels of directiveness.

"It's really important that you speak with HR and get some expert input on this situation" - This is assertive and pointed, directing that action be taken immediately.

"I think you should go and speak to the HR department" - Simple, clear and to the point.

"I wonder if you might benefit from a conversation with the HR department" - Subtly worded and 'offers' the advice, and can be easily rejected.

‍

Asking A Question:

For a question to have the least directive style of influence, it should be open and worded as neutrally as possible. An open-ended question begins with "what", "when", "where" and "who" and encourages further discussion and thought into the answer as they have no predefined answers which allow thoughts to be expressed freely. Closed-ended questions can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no" and can be useful in some cases for example collecting straightforward facts or quantitative data but are not useful in coaching situations.

See below some examples of open-ended questions and their purpose in a coaching situation.

"What is the most important thing for us to focus on right now?" - To refocus, keep the conversation on track, or calm someone down.

"What are your thoughts about this?" - Leads someone to come to a conclusion.

"What might stop you from doing that?" - Prepare someone to overcome barriers to taking action.

"What options are available to you?" - Produce ideas without a sense of pressure.

"Why is that important to you?" - Understand someone's values.

‍

When asking a question, it is helpful to check if it is closed or open-ended and if it is closed, how you can reword it to make it open-ended.

For example "Did you find this meeting helpful?" can be reworded to "How did you feel about this meeting?". This way you can gain deeper insight into what people took away from the meeting and if any changes need to be made for future meetings.

‍

Photo by Anna Tarazevich: https://www.pexels.com/photo/here-to-help-lettering-text-on-black-background-5697255/

‍