The Power of Coaching – The Answers are Within You!

The Power of Coaching – The Answers are Within You!

Imagine….

Imagine that you have a problem you would like to solve. It is a recurring problem that is impacting your life in ways that are subtle and nuanced, but consistently negative.

You want to solve the problem but feel that counselling or therapy is not the right answer. It is more of a nuisance than a "thorn in your side", and you know that reducing or eliminating the problem will enhance your life.

Coaching may be the route to take to explore the situation. It may help you find freedom and move forward into a new way of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Case Study Example

As an example, let's say that you are a leader/manager at a multinational workplace. You have a team of seven people who directly report to you. You enjoy your work immensely, especially the people development and the empowerment that you can give your team to work at their best.  

Your problem is that you find yourself emotionally drained by the end of the work week, and that you are avoiding group social interactions with friends that you used to really enjoy spending time with.  

The GROW model is a great way to explore the issue in a non-threatening way. In a way that allows you to champion your goals, but to also be realistic about your limits.

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Stepping through the GROW Model

In the first session you determine that your Goal is to bring a more balanced approach to your emotional state and to reconnect with your friends more regularly. Your coach said that this is a very good place to start, and that the specific and measurable action items will be discussed later in the sessions.

Through coaching conversations, you find the Reality is that your personality is drawn towards empathy and compassion.

You become aware that you are suffering from Compassion Fatigue and keep hitting the limits of what you can emotionally handle with the work team that you lead.

You pride yourself on your ability to care about others, but are aware that while you are an excellent listener, you take their problems home with you and spend time researching solutions, ruminating over their situations, and worrying about their overall wellbeing.

When you consider your Options, you realise that one of the options is to make NO changes, and to continue being emotional drained every weekend. Through the conversation, you also realise that you currently spend most of the day Saturday in bed, mindlessly scrolling on social media, as it is all you can manage mentally.

You had hoped to run a 10k in a local race in a month’s time, but have not run since last January, when you had a 2-week streak of running 6 days a week.

Decisions and Action Items

After four coaching sessions, where the first three steps of the GROW model were explored, you decide to set a few action items for the Way forward.

1 – Set a culture of “no meeting Friday” with your team where you get the chance to clear your desk for the weekend and to ensure that you can leave your work at work in order to switch off and enjoy the weekend as you choose.

2 – Set a regular schedule of one-to-one meetings with your team members such that you are meeting with each person once every 4-6 weeks rather than every week. This gives you enough time to allow the person to act on their objectives and to come back with a progress report rather than “only” complain about the challenges they are facing each week.

3 – Learn skills of “compassionate detachment” such that your empathy is balanced with appropriate boundaries.  

Early in the coaching sessions, your coach recommended the book “Brilliant Coaching” by Julie Starr and in reading this book, you become aware of the opportunity for growth in your own management style, especially in allowing your team members to make mistakes, choose their own path of growth, or decide not to take your advice and go in a different direction.  

Follow-Up

After six months, in a follow-up session with your coach, you report on your new Reality after implementing some of the action items you had decided on:

1 – You have been able to leave your laptop at work on Fridays and have found you are able to set social events on your calendar two Saturdays a month. These have ranged from coffee mornings to fitness sessions to spa days, and your friendships are becoming a deeper source of encouragement and strength.

2 – Your direct reports had a variety of reactions to the gaps in one-to-one meetings. Some have enjoyed the space between the meetings, and others have struggled. One individual particularly did not like the boundary being set, but through this challenge they realised that they were suffering with severe anxiety and have now started counselling with a therapist.  

3 – You realise that the person who you were “carrying” in the above situation is now in a therapeutic relationship with a counsellor, and you are worrying much less about them. This has allowed you to sleep much better, and enjoy a working relationship with this team member that is more professional.

You still have not run the 10K that you had hoped to run, but realised that this was an aspirational goal that would require more time than you have in your week. You have now joined a gym and attend 3x per week which has created a balanced approach to fitness rather than only running.

Conclusion

Coaching can be insightful and useful for anyone, but it is also powerful because it allows each person to make the choice about what to do, what not to do, and the IMPACT that our actions and inactions will have on us and on others!

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Photo by Gursharndeep  Singh: https://www.pexels.com/photo/lighted-incandescent-bulb-2938278/

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